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Hi Chris,

Let me see if I can make this more clear... because it is soooo important to understand... but you can apply this analogy in every aspect of your life... jobs, apartments/houses... just replace relationship with whatever is it is that is coming into or moving out of your life.

Every person on the face of this planet incarnated to go thru a chain of processes that is geared to help him or her remember who they really are (spirit/god) in a physical body. These processes take lifetimes one building on each other until we master the process... and beleive it or not... once we master the process... we start all over again... but that is a whole different post

Everything in our lives... EVERYTHING is here to help us remember who we truly are. Every up and down we expereience we brought to our lives to help us with the task at hand... re-membering.

Relationships serve that very same thing... to help us remember who we really are. And we attract to ourselves (start sending outward waves of vibrations that another or sometimes.. others (plural) pick up on and together we start moving towards each other... because as I said earlier... we are all doing the same thing... everyone of us has the same mission here on earth whether conscious of it or not... to remember who we are and all we are capable of being who we really are.

Living in a world of like attracts like... and I will use myself in these examples... god knows I have emersed myself in every possible energy vibration lol.

When I was a single mom of 2 children living on welfare at age 24... all I really wanted in my life was someone to give me and my kids some security. A nice home, stable life... and some love. Unconsciously (I had no real idea why I wanted this... I just thought it was cuz I was tired of struggling)... I brought the part of my life that was remembering who I really was in that way (on welfare in poverty and single with children) as far as I could in my remembering process... and started sending out waves to attract the next process of my life.

I could only attract at that time someone (or someones) who vibrated at my level of being. I was highly insecure, self loathing, and felt like life owed me something... and owed my children something.

In that moment of time... I attracted 3 men into my life. I dated them all at the same time. Widdling them down one by one as I learned what I could from them (in my own unconscious remembering process) and then settled for one of the 3 to be my life partner. He was my exact vibration double in those moments.

He was highly insecure, self loating, and thought life owed him something. Together we feel madly in love. My vibration met and united with his vibration and became one vibration... for the experience at hand... which was for each of us to remember (even if the remembering process is completely unconscious) who we are... and the chemical reaction of that attraction happened.. our molecules rearranged each other so that we would feel in-love we would be in the presence of love with each other. And man oh man.. we were that! Madly in love. And we served each others processes very well. Even tho neither of us consciously had a clue what was really happening (we only looked at life thru the physical eyes and looked no further than that..) we embarked on a life together... we got married... both bringing each other the experiences of the union of our two energetic bodies of soul discovery. Enhance each others lifes thru our combined expeirences and expressions of ourselves in each moment.

4 years into our union (from the time we met each other, not married each other... we got married 2.5 years after we met, tho we lived with each other 2 months after we met) we created a baby together. For me, this was no ordinary baby. She knocked so very loudly on the door I placed a "closed for life" sign on. My desires became so strong to have a baby that I took steps (completely in private and without his knowing) to make sure I became pregnant.

What I didn't realize then... but do now... was my then unborn daughter was coming into my life to put me on the next phase of my remembering process... for Eddie and I have come to a place where we were no longer aiding each other in our remembering process.... we simply just enjoyed the union we had...

The day Valorie was born (this was something I could not understand for 16 years... and bothered me sooo very much until yesterday).... I feel out of love with my husband. It was like all of a sudden I woke up one day and wham... no in love place with him any more. I still loved him... but was not in that place of love with him as a unified being on her remembering process.

valorie (my daughter) brought more into my life than my conscious mind could have ever realized in those moments... and the 16 years of moments that went by...

I started looking upward (altho by how I do that now, was only slightly).... I was so amazed at how badly my whole being wanted a baby... when I knew just months before I never wanted another baby in this natural lifetime... the feeling was overwhelming... insistant and had to be followed thru with or I think I would have gone mad.

I started to "wonder" how this could happen... the more I wondered (wanted to learn more about who I was and now who i am becoming in the process) the less my husband served my purpose. He was not looking higher... he was in a space of contentedness in his life.

Do not look at this as bad or good... it is neither. He was very happy with where he was in his life.. in his remembering process. I was not...Valorie changed my entire molecular structure and my vibration started seeking again... putting itself into motion....

But, I was married... and faithful to the vows I took within that marriage ceramony... and felt trapped in this place. I could not understand how I could be madly in love with a man for 4 years.. then wake up one day... and that love be completely gone... or to me felt completely gone (and I am speaking of that being in love... in the presence of the loving union we created within each other). So desperate was I in this search for trying to re-unite with his energy I became highly depressed... even put myself into a psych hospital to try and figure it out.. didn't work... everyone was looking into my physical world and not my spiritual world.. which is the core of who I Am and where I am heading.

My vibration no longer matched Eddies... the moment I looked higher... my vibration (energy) retracted from his, (who was not looking anywhere, but content with where he was and what he had remembered about himself to now)...

So you can look at it as my energy removed itself from his... the union of being in his loving presence no longer served my process... which has always been... remembering who I really Am. (and this is a process every single one of us are in.. from the first breath of life... our lifes journey is completly Self Centered... we have just gotten confused, which makes the journey harder... that we are here for others... we are not, not in the sense of remembering... others will come and go as we move thru our own processes and we fill each others needs of remembering who we are).

For 4 years I was in total conflict within myself... I was true to my vows of marriage... but so damn unhappy in my soul. I felt like I was suffocating... and could not understand why. I so desperately wanted to be in that union of in love with him again... for the sake of my marriage and children.

Please don't think I stopped loving him... not at all... once love is created.. united.. it remains forever. I just could not find that union that was once so strong with our souls...

We filed for divorce... he moved out of state.... I felt free! I went on a dating spree... was remembering to beat the band (grin)... and having fun with a lot of momentary relationships

Keeping in mind our physical beings... are really creatures of habit. The holidays came around (about 7 months into our seperation) and I started missing the 8 christmases we spent together as a family.. the joy and love that was shared with each other during this season... I did not find anyone to really bring me to myself during those 7 months... except those momentary times of union....

And I choose to give into those habitual impulses.. to be in a relationship of security... and I went where I was familiar... he I moved back in together. He was very happy (he never wanted this seperation to begin with... I could be rather demanding tho.. and will win).

I was less than happy. What I thought I wanted... I realized more intently with our moving back in together... was far from what my soul wanted. I was more unhappy than before we seperated. The more I tried to force this re-union the more miserable I became... I was no longer sufficating I was dying inside. He was no different than the day we seperated. Even tho we moved in together again with clear understandings of the changes that had to be... they never happened... he was a creature of habit... and was actually quite happy with where he was in life... and we reunited into the same thing that drove us apart... we had no union of soul... just of habit.

Out of the blue... on impulse that I never thought out the momet before... I drove to my attornies office and filed for divorce again... something in me, in that moment of filing... felt free again! I could breath again!! I no longer even cared about trying to force this love with him...

Our molecular structures were so different... we were on differnt parts of our lifes journey... the process of remembering who we are and what we are capable of in human form that we could never unite at the place we once came together in... for we fullfilled what we needed to in each other... and it was time to continue our journey of remembering with others.

(Our marriage vows can be so damaging to us and I will never do that to my Self again... not in that way!)

I divorced him 11 years ago... and over that time attacted to me various partners who took me yet to another level of being.. of remembering who I was.. in bringing out various parts of my sparkle (and of course I them... nothing is ever one way, but in this thing called life... it really is all about Us, all about Me and my process of remembering. I must always serve my soul needs first and foremost and trust those inner promptings/chemical changes to move me along my own path of Self re-membering).

Today... I am a completely different person in mind, soul and deed than I was back then... it is like the Lisa most people knew for 38+ years... left the building. She changed so completely so utterly... that she is but a fond memory of my own lifes experience.

I am no longer in chaos, nor insecure... I do not seek outside of myself for what I wish to remember. Altho, I do know in this present moment of my time.. in order to FULLY remember and bring in the experience of that re-membering with absolute feeling... I must attract someone else into my life for the process to continue and enhance itself. Someone who is equally in the same space as me... with the same vibration and desire as me.. so that our union... our re-membering process will bring out the very things we both desire.. to be whole and united within ourselves... and a compliment to each other so that we may continually bring each other to that place within our selves... thru the re-union of our souls.. of being in the presence of love.

The moment Frank called me the first time (and his phone call was prompted souly as a business thing with interest in my magazine)... I could feel my molecular structure change. Each time his voice vibrated accross the phone lines to my being.. I could feel my own energy lifting higher.. expanding.. combining with his with excitement.

Each phone call brought it to higher levels.

Because of who I Am in this present moment and the Awareness I have come to... i can see within myself... and know what is happening. I could actually see the chemical exchange... my molecules rearranging each other so our vibrations were in harmony... I called this process.. falling in love... The process was happening... was rearranging our very beings... the cells of our bodies... the processes of our minds and hearts... and creating the desire of a re-union of soul energy... so that we may both experience what we brought to ourselves... our own re-membering of who we are.

Now to touch on the power of our creation. I told God in August 2006 I was done doing this journey alone. I have been a dedicated student for 6 years.. a soul-o journey at that. I knew I brought myself as far as I could within myself alone. It was now time for someone to join me so I could experience what I needed in a conjoined journey and fullfil what gods will is with me.. thru a union.

God wasted no time (smile)... and me being god and knowing exactly what I wanted and needed... brought him to me... and he knowing what he wanted and needed... felt my energy waves of calling... and found me on this planet.... thru my magazine. The moment he read that magazine... he felt my vibration... he felt something in his soul that wanted him to know more...

And here we are now... both on a very beautiful and rather intense journey of re-membering who we are thru each other.

I do want to add this note about my last (and only 2nd meeting with him this past week)... I never felt more open... more in a place of divinity with another human being ever in my life.

Even tho the conversation was mostly about my journey and what brought me to here... and his journey and what brought him to here... we both were emersed in a space that was so high above the human realm. We were vibrating at rates of speed with each other... with what was happening with our physical re-union of self... Not once did I ever think to be reserved.. to not fully show myself to him... to feel bad about anything.. to think of maybe I was talking to much (or any of those feelings we get when we are wanting this newly emerging relationship to go to the next level... and to be clear... the level that we seek is physical union... aka sex). We even talked about that... the desire... the is it right question to be feeling this way... it was amazingly open... loving... at the highest and most humbling vibration I have ever experienced with another human being in all my physical life.

With being in that state of Self Awareness has opened me to a whole higher level of Being. Of understanding the human and soul process as one conjoined effort... and the possibilities that exist within that re-union... and my heart pitter patters with intense excitement... and knowing it will soon Experience Awareness with feeling and understanding...

And the journey continues....

Phew... well I didn' set out to create a marathon reply but it is what it is!!

I love ya Chris... I hope you are meditating again!!
((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))))))
Lisa

I am going to dedicate this whole post to Chris.. this part of the ongoing story (and each of our lives are just that... an ongoing story of magic and revelation) Ashliegh is going to appreciate.

In the first many encounters with Frank I did not foresee where we were heading... if in fact we were heading anywhere. I knew deeply the joy within me each time we talked.. I felt my internal chemical structure change... but I was still in the process of understanding without clarity of what it was I was wittnessing within myself.

My new beloved friend.... is married!

In our first physical meeting he did tell me this...in his own way... sharing his story of a long term relationship and children... somewhere my mind didn't even pick up on the presence of this relationship... in his sharing and my feeling.. it felt past... as opposed to present. I didn't ask him about it... The only reason I can feel within me as to why I didn't directly as him if he was presently married is I would have stopped this process. My conscious mind would have said... opps can't go there... door closed, potenial lost.

I was at the park the day after our 2nd meeting... expanding in the union and understanding of the potential that has been created..... as I viewed the potential.... all of a sudden I felt this led balloon come into my field of vision... and it dropped onto my right side (which is my emotional/spiritual side).... and it felt heavy and constricting... and started squishing the joy I was seeing. As I shifted to see what this heavieness was... wham right there in my face of feeling... I knew he was married.

I thought to myself... I must be wrong.. I never picked up on this in our many conversations... altho I could feel its truth in that moment... I couldn't understand where it was the moments before... I just didn't feel it.

I called him to confirm this led balloon (smile)... and he said yes that he said he was (tho to my ears who were not listening so well) in our first meeting... and he did.

What is really and truly amazing in this new experience of conversation yesterday... even with the revalation of him being in an extremely long term marriage... our vibration of connection never ceased to be... it was as it always has been.. intense and so filled with joy and openess... the divine within each other never parted ways... nor felt anything but the presence of love that is our re-union. But it did alter the course....

We both agreed to simply allow whatever was happening.. to happen as our souls journey should be... untethered except by the experiences that will happen... and to move thru the choices those experiences will create.

When I hung up the phone with him... I had to ask mySelf... and now what do I do with this... instantly the reply came "Do no harm". I understood this completely... but still wasn't sure what "I" should or shouldn't do. I went to the park to expand and understand.

Before I get to the next part of the story... I want to state clearly one thing about me.. thru all of my life's chaos and irrigard for many people in my life... there has been one value that seemed to be etched into the being of my soul... and that was "never play with other peoples toys"... if someone is married or in a relationship... I just don't go there. All involved are going to get hurt especially the unknowing one... and nothing is worth that pain.

Keep in mind this is information that came to me about the convolution of the experience. (the one thing about allowing spirit to talk thru me, I learn new words lol.. I had to go to the dictionary to even understand what the word convolution means and let me share with you what it means: 3: the action of coiling or twisting or winding together). So just keep in mind this part of this post is about the experience that happens to many of us.. and not simply talking about Frank at all...altho he is a catalyst for the information within me.

As I went to the park and expanded... I knew that love is and always has been pure and gentle. It moves thru lives to create choices and opportunities... and thru those choices and opportunities pain can exist... and most often does exist (because we are unaware of the beauty that is truly happening in the moment, and pain is a very useful feeling in us that moves us further along our re-membering process)... but love in itself will never create the pain (its the lack of re-membering that causes pain). Love does no harm ever... not to any single molecule of existance.

Now to understand that to the reality that I was now in.

The re-union of love cannot be stopped (that is to say, when it is time for two souls to notice each other in that soul re-union that vibrates with love, you cannot stop the re-union... you can however, alter the course of its creation by your choices). It is part of the soul journey... the potential of the expeirence at hand.. and that is to bring awareness... re-membering who we are and where we want to go as a soul in a body. And most importantly Who and what we are now in this new moment of being.

Often times in our lives... we are living in denial of who we are... we simply fade into the background of existance and complacency of what we have come to in our lives... and live it out from that point of view... getting all tangeled up in the mundande... family, friends, jobs, status... we start to forget who really are and where we were heading... which was towards re-membering. We start to identify with the phsyical life and the spirtual life we choose to co-mingle in the outmoded beleifs of who we are in the moment that just past. Which creates chaos in our minds, and a heaviness in our hearts... because we are denying who we are and where our soul is trying to point you.. which is always... in the direction of Union with Self/God by the expeirences coming to you.

The soul has an agenda... and it can be very intense when it is time to change.. to allow the death of one existance/conception of who you are... and the re-birth of the next existance/experience of who you really are....

And worlds so unexpectedly collide. A new potential exists... the desire becomes intensely strong... and choices must be made.

The expression and experience of love should never be done in secret. There is no shame or guilt in true love... pure love. If something must be done in secret, the experience becomes less than the potential that existed with the creation. Secrets contail guilt and shame... because you feel you must do this in secret which means.. someone may get hurt. As is the case when someone is already married... some one.. usually all involved get hurt if the re-union of souls takes place without awareness of all involved. Because indeed... all are involved. This is a moment of change for everyone. All three souls have something to experience.. to learn... to re-member... and act on with the highest degree of love for all. Love never does any harm (hurt intentionally).

If you do anything in secret... you are hurting intentionally. Even if you do not take the relationship to a physical union (sex) but the love exists in the physical vibration.. and you keep it secret... it has already created the potential of hurt... because love cannot remain secret... god is never secret but all-ways present.

In that I mean... when you are vibrating.. radiating at an intense frequency of love... and your partner is not the source of that radiance.. they will feel it.. they will know something changed... they may not consciously be aware in the first few moments... but eventually that unconcsious reality becomes awareness... even to the most unconscious being. And the person hurts from a level they didn't have to experience in that way.

We as humans have such hard time being honest with ourselves forget someone else. Not matter how much we honor that other person, and never want to intentionally hurt them... when we are denying ourselves... we are hurting all involved... especially ourSelfs.

Your physical and spiritual being will never seek out another source if there is still any part of the dance left to re-membering who you are with the partner you have. It simply will not happen. There is a divine order to all the universe... where we want to believe it or not... and most, we don't beleive it... we stay where we feel comfortable... because it is how we identify ourselves.

Now... to really complicate this... but yet I feel it is needed to share here... these intense re-unions of soul... not all are meant to be taken to the physical level (a sexual relationship)... they appear in your life to let you know you are moving to another level of being.. of re-membering who you are and where you are heading... and I came into your life to be the catalyst for that change to take place.

Many have had an experience when all of a sudden you seem suddenly attracted to someone.. feel all kinds of vibrations with another... and you start to feel intensely attracted to them... and start thinking of a physical relationship.. but yet, something in you feels not right with the potential... if at any moment something doesn't feel right (from within your heart and not in your mind where all your obsolete beliefs are stored and acted out) then your heart is saying.. honey this is your 'wake-up call"... you are changing... you have new expeirences coming up.... and your mind wanders within the potential of what it may be...

Most people in life today are so out of touch with their soul, they cannot tell the differnce and most usually act on their physical desires... and get into not so pleasing relationships.. or end perfectly good ones.. because they simply do not know themselves.

Don't look at that as good or bad... it is simply your wake up call... and it's all good.. hard... but good!!

Now back to the orginal story....smile.... back to the focus of change and moving to the next level of your Souls desire (which always is... re-membering and experiencing further in that re-membering).

Lets focus on when it is timely in a life to move to the next level of expeirence with another.

Everyone is now presented with choices... choices that will irrivocably change their lives... no matter which choice they choose... and to be perfectly clear... there are NO wrong choices. They will all take you where you are wanting to go... and that is re-membering and experiencing yourself in that re-membering. There are varying degrees of effect from any given choice however. Lets look at some of them:

There are three souls moving thru their journey of life...each with their own Soul desires... each with an agenda that is unique unto their own Being... all from the soul level wanting to move forward (keep this in mind because it is important).

Two are in a commited relationship (doesn't matter if that commitment is marriage, living together or simply dating). the two can be viewed as happy... enjoying each other at whatever level they have come to in their relationship...

Lets start with the first scenero.. you are in a deeply in-love relationship... and someone shows up on your path of life which allows you to feel that same thing in a different way with someone else... that feeling of being in-love.. wanting to experience them in the physical... (which is actually our nature... spiritually and humanly)... yet.. we live in a world that does not embrace that... our commitments to each other tie our hands and our hearts and bind us instead of allowing us to live freely as our soul needs to. We live in insecurity and expectation of each other... and so you are faced with a choice... deny your souls desire... or share openly with your partner of what you are feeling... and allow the experience to be what it was meant to be... the process of re-membering who you really are at all levels.

(I am adding this bit of info... sometimes it is simply the sharing of what your heart may be feeling with another, that will take your current relationship to the next level... bringing in unconscious awareness that something needs to be added or changed... and both parties can talk about it, and make choices from what is happening in the moment.)

In your expression of the truth... there can be a potential of someone getting hurt. Most people do not want to share what they feel is there's... and in expressing your truthful desires of another.. the initial relationship may feel hurt. But not as hurt as it would be if you acted on your desires and they found out later... which creates lies and deciet and trust fades away... honesty leaves the building.

Or you simply choke down the desires of your soul and you miss an incredible experience.. and something inside of you starts feeling trapped.. unable to express who you really are... which eventually will lead to resentment of being in the expeirence of it all. The element of change has already been put into motion... the only thing that differs is what you choose to do with the expeirence at hand. I will add this.. being truthful to your Self at all times.. is the highest and best road for your own soul growth. Love is only creating harm when you deny what you feel on any level.

Second scenerio... you are in a complacent relationship (this is where I was at in my marriage). You have come to develop a wonderful friendship with each other... a familiarity of being with each other... but the fire has long died... and so you just exist in the existance of what is the present state of your relationship. And then you meet someone who sets your soul on fire...

Again honesty is always the highest road.. but not the only road.. and all roads lead to the same place. Altho with me there was no "other" that made me realize I was simply existing in a relationship... often times when it is time to take another road to lead to your higher journey.. another will collide with your world... wake you up with a fire so intense you don't know what to do with it. (We don't know what to do with it for many reasons, we feel obligated to everyone but ourSelfs, we feel trapped within a mutual agreement of vows to each other, we identify with what we created and came to know about our lives and are affraid to look beyond that.) But often times... this fire burns so deeply in your soul (the desire for the other who entered your life) it cannot be ignored. You must do something. Again most people will simply give in to their physical desires without full truth (to themSelfs) about what is actually happening... and if they are not truthful with themselves they cannot be truthful with their partners... or if they are truthful with themselves and know what their soul desires.. they feel bad because they don't want to hurt their partner in sharing this new fire in their soul. But in denying what you are feeling.. you are actually denying the progress of the current as well as the new relationship... because all parties are (on a soul level) moving towards progress of the soul journey of re-membering... and it is our fear that stops the potential journey to continue... because we do not want to hurt anyone... and so we do harm to ourSelfs... and that also hurts all involved. In this choice of denying the feeling and not sharing it outward with all involved... the process became less than it could have been.. but.. it all creates what it was intended to create.. change!

It is how we react to the change that creates a new outcome... the potential we will experience.. depending on the choice we make with it.

You can choose to tell your partner about your new feelings allowing your partner to process it all from a level of honesty and truth... he or she may not like it in the moment and feel hurt by it... but there is a soul agenda happening here with all involved... a progress of evolution for all... and that includes the one who may hurt from your new union. He or she sould be set free to be part of the experience and make choices based on what is happening... and feel within themselves the changes it is bringing to the new expeirence of information...

Or you can go in secret... acting on your soul promptings... building towards the love experience with another... thinking your partner does not know... will not find out... but I assure you, that would be impossible. Love is big and expressive and felt to the core of everyone who see's it. And your partner will feel your changes... again may not understand them in the beginning... but it will soon filter into their awareness as consciousness.. a feeling that must be dealt with. But now there is something new to deal with... not only feeling the loss of the relationship (which was really over long before the moment of this point in time.. it was simply something that remained but potential of re-membering quelled some time ago).. now there is a feeling of betrayal... the loss of honesty. Even if it is not the first time you weren't honest... it is still a new pain having to be dealt with. And true love will never do harm..

I am going to end it on that note for the moment... and process what has come out of this post for my own self.

With love and honor to all,
Lisa